Is Sleep Training a Good Fit for my Baby?
Deciding whether sleep training is right for you and your baby can feel overwhelming. With the amount of advice, courses, and methods out there it can feel confusing and frustrating trying to make a decision for your family.
Today I will break down the definition of sleep training, how I go about sleep training, the benefits of sleep training, and whether or not sleep training is the answer to your baby sleep issues.
What is sleep training?
When many people hear the words “sleep training”, they automatically think of the “cry it out” approach. This, in turn, can make sleep training feel daunting or overwhelming.
Sleep training is actually just the process of teaching your baby to fall asleep completely independently, regardless of what method you use. Because of the confusion around the definition of sleep training, I often use the term “sleep learning”. The goal of sleep learning is to be able to lay your baby down awake and allow them to fall asleep on their own quickly and stay asleep for longer periods of time.
How you get to that goal looks different for every family and baby. Sleep learning is all about staying tuned in to your baby’s needs while challenging them just enough to learn a new skill.
What method do I use?
I am trained in The Peaceful Sleeper Method. This method is different from others in that it is all about remaining tuned in to your baby’s cues. We use signals from your baby, plus science, to find the best approach for your family. Every baby is unique so I offer four different methods to choose from when teaching independent sleep. These methods are:
Accelerated Approach
Modified Accelerated Approach
Modified Gradual Approach
Gradual Approach
The Peaceful Sleeper Method is also unique in that it breaks the process into bite-size, doable phases. This allows you to teach your baby a new skill without feeling completely overwhelmed. This also allows you to stay tuned in to your baby’s Zone of Proximal Development (the space in which your baby will learn best). We work to find a “just right” challenge for your baby. This method does not require you to drop middle-of-the-night feeds.
The phases of this method are:
Optimize Daytime Sleep - Good daytime sleep leads to better nighttime sleep. The first step in improving your baby’s sleep is to take a look at their daytime sleep habits.
Independent Sleep Initiation - This is where we teach your baby to fall asleep completely independently at nap time and bedtime.
Nap Lengthening - If your baby is hanging on to short cat naps, this is where we teach them to take 1-2 hour naps consistently.
Cutting Nighttime Awakenings - When you and your baby are ready, this is where you can cut those unnecessary night wake-ups/feeds.
What are the benefits of sleep training?
Why go through the process of sleep learning? What are the benefits and will they be worth your time and energy?
Improved sleep quality. Let’s start with the obvious. The biggest benefit is improved sleep for both you and your baby. Your baby will sleep longer stretches and get deep, restorative rest. They will have fewer night wake-ups and better naps. This in turn will lead to better, uninterrupted sleep for you. Better sleep leads to improved overall well-being for both you and your baby.
Better mood. Both you and your baby will be happier after sleeping better. Your baby will feel well-rested and more content. You will have more patience and capacity to care for your child and yourself. A better mood for both you and your baby will lead to improved social interactions which help build a strong attachment.
A consistent routine. Sleep learning will allow you to get on a consistent nap and nighttime schedule. You will be able to have predictable breaks throughout the day. You can also plan appointments and activities knowing when your baby will nap. You will not approach each nap and nighttime with the anxiety of not knowing what to expect.
Self-soothing skills. Your baby will learn how to fall asleep without the need for any external aids. No more rocking for hours on end, endless pacifier pop-ins, relying on nursing to sleep, etc. You will lay your baby down for bed knowing they will fall asleep on their own within minutes.
Flexibility. When your baby can fall asleep independently, it won’t matter who is putting them to bed. It will be easier for grandparents, nannies, daycare, babysitters, etc to put your baby to sleep. Traveling and transitions to the sleep environment are often much easier when a baby is sleep-trained.
Improved relationships. When you and your family are sleeping, you are going to have better social interactions with each other. When your baby can sleep independently and consistently, you will have more time to care for yourself, reconnect with your partner, spend one-on-one time with your other children, etc.
Honestly, I could go on and on. I can think of many more ways sleep learning can be life-changing, but I think you get the picture.
Are there any cons to sleep training?
I have to admit, it was tricky for me to compile a list of cons for sleep training. Most of the “cons” people think of are actually just myths…
I will say that one con to sleep training is that it does take some time, consistency, and effort. The first few days can especially feel all over the place. Things tend to fall apart before they fall back together. But when you trust the process, this is a quick hurdle you will have to overcome. And the results are well worth the time and effort.
Is sleep learning right for my baby?
Before deciding if sleep training is right for your family and baby, consider the following things:
Your baby’s age. The best time to sleep train is between 4-6 months. Before 4 months, your baby is not developmentally ready for sleep training. It is normal for newborns to need help getting to sleep and staying asleep. They aren’t ready to learn the skill of self-soothing until 4+ months. Instead of sleep training your newborn, focus on laying a solid foundation for future independent sleep.
Although the best time to sleep train is between 4-6 months, don’t worry if your baby is older than that. It is never too late. I use similar methods for babies between 4-24 months old. Although older babies are a little more set in their ways, it is still possible to sleep train. That being said, the earlier the better so if you are ready I would do it as soon as possible.
Your baby’s current sleep patterns. Is it getting harder to get your baby to sleep? Maybe you used to feed or rock them to sleep easily and now the process is turning into a battle. Does your baby wake frequently at night? Is your baby taking short naps (less than 1 hour long)? Is your baby’s sleep unpredictable? If you are experiencing even just one of these issues, sleep learning is most likely a good fit for your family.
Your needs. Your baby is not the only important person in this situation. I always encourage parents to consider their own needs as well. If you are sleep-deprived, exhausted, tapped out, or depleted, you are most likely not being the best parent you could be. It is really hard to be a tuned-in caregiver when your own basic needs are not being met. You deserve sleep and predictable breaks.
Are you ready?
Does sleep learning feel like it may be a good fit for your family? You don’t need to go through this process alone.
I break the sleep learning process down step-by-step in my 4-24 Months Sleep Learning Course. You will get 20+ detailed, bite-sized videos that will guide you through all 4 phases of sleep learning. I also answer a ton of frequently asked questions, give you resources like a sleep log and nap schedule guide, and give you four methods to choose from. Each method includes a printable PDF to keep handy while you implement.
I also dive deep into what sleep learning is, how attachment plays a role in sleep training, and nailing down your “why”.
Looking for ongoing support when implementing your plan? Join my next Group Sleep Coaching Session! A new group starts at the beginning of each month. The group session includes:
-3 Live check-in calls throughout the month
-Get your questions answered quickly. Post your questions to the wall and receive a reply from me within 24 hours
-Community support - a group of parents going through the same process as you.
-Access to resources: get access to the 4-24 Months Sleep Learning Course, sleep diary, workshops, downloadable guides, and more.